at one point.. you just dont feel like watching movies alone in the cinema anymore..
neither would you want to walk through every place, pass by everything alone..
when you wouldnt even feel excited about.. because you know there is noone next to you to share about..

and then you just so wish you could fall asleep in someone's arms, him kissing your forehead good night.
and then you wake up to someone.. seeing him watch you sleep.
and then you know things will be fine, no matter how bad it is.
because there is this someone whom you share things with, protects you and be by your side.

but then..
you just dont know who that someone is thinking.
you gave in effort.
but all you got is the 'unrequited' one..

so ended up.. you got lost in thinking what exactly yourself want as well..

so.. i used to have a crush on this coll mate..
we are good friends now, miles apart..
he doesnt need to know the past.. hah.

well. that aside.
but right after i finally let go of that strong feeling of mine.. i told myself never to be so silly again.
because the process and progress of developing this kind of 'relationship', tho is sweet..
it's bloody tiring as well.
i have fallen head over heels, quietly for about a year and a half.
and i have taken about half a year to let go.
hah.

and then.. guess what..
right after that.. half a year later (not even a year!)
i have found myself going through the same thing again!
fallen for a guy.. silently.. unknowingly.. (yeah rite.. pretty much whole world knows except for the guy himself XD)
oh gosh.. how silly is this!

but i couldnt help it! (of course i'm going to say this.. what else is there left for me as an excuse rite!)
i fall for his charm, his voice, his height, his words, his smell.. his everything.
i think of him, his shirt colors, his toll pass, his stuff in his car.. his everything.
i wonder of his dogs, his hobby, his favorites.. his every single little thing.
and oh gosh.
this is definitely not good.
because it's been like this for a little more than half a year.
oh gosh.
and the history repeats?!

damn it.
and now dearie friend is asking me to make a move.
what the..
this would definitely be something new to me.. hah.

and the ramblings end for the day